Surrealism

2007-08-31T23:08:00.000+08:00

today we wen to the hougang place to get out hair cut,
she still rems you too, you noe
and as we traced the journey we took en,eth lil thing reminded me of you
the bus stop where we squabbled at, the bus 88, peach bubble tea
i miss you

i need you because i love you

2006-06-26T17:39:00.000+08:00

i'm stuck in my bottomless pit
i neva seem to change

this sucks

2006-06-05T12:14:00.000+08:00

i had a lil chat wif lullaby earlier,
and it made me realise how i've been so lost and disconnected from everyone,
being blissfully and ignorantly cooped up in my love coccon.

i'm sorry if i've been gone for too long,
missing from all the action.
I do miss you guys,
and i guess it doesn't feel nice either
to be neglected and given less priority..
forgive me my lil darlings, i noe i haven been the best of friends.
And it dawned on me tt at the end of it all,wen the euphoria fades
and my fairytale disappears
i might lose you guys too..
Please wait for me darlings,
coz i dun wanna eva lose you guys

2006-05-19T18:31:00.000+08:00

thank you for being my hero...

wen i felt lost and scared,
you stood by me.
braved the storm,
and held my hands,
you led the way.

As i tagged behind you,
i silently observed your steadfastness,
your determination.
and as i admired your sheer resilience,
i felt secure and protected coz i knew at tt moment
you'd do everything, and anything to keep me safe..
i'm so proud of you my hero.

believe..

2006-05-17T20:33:00.000+08:00

You can lose everything,but you can't lose hope..

it isn't over till you say it is,
it isn't too late till you decide it it..

wen you're with me..

2006-05-17T20:07:00.000+08:00

it's nice havin you near me,it's swell!
fun and injected wif bouts of laughter!
i juz wish we'd neva havta part!
coz i always can't wait to meet up wif you again!
gok chu! po go shi por! om chong sa rang hae! haha!!!
ooo! it's jus nice to wen you're near me..

2006-03-27T16:51:00.000+08:00

It's not tt i do not care, i juz don't want to

indifference is one of the most powerful tools; There are times when emotions are too overwhelming to be put on display, and occasionally, a situation calls for more dignity. Indifference provides a shield of privacy behind which one is able to process her real emotions.
i learnt this from the book you gave me

Take my nonchalance for unreasonableness, rudeness, my pride,
but dun expect me to shed my apathy,
provide me a sustenance at least
coz its has been e only thing holdin me tgh,
keepin these tears from fallin..

2006-03-15T21:18:00.000+08:00

i'm living for the moment,
loving for the moment,
nothing's gonna hold me back now,
nothing's gonna stop me from loving you.

minimoni's eva so wise

2006-03-10T18:33:00.000+08:00

i'm being petty again,i noe.
unreasonable.
i dunoe why either.
You dun havta say sorry really,
i'm not waiting for one either.
Not gonna make you say it
juz so tt eth will be fine
i promised myself to change..
It's me, i noe
Sorry

2006-03-01T18:12:00.000+08:00

It's a fact i've been denying, the truth i've been escaping from,
but i won't delude myself any longer, you just don't love me as much as i'd like to believe you do..

i think i can finally understand why you cld always just mention a break up like it neva meant ath to u to utter the words i so dread to hear, that you cld always just let me go and move on like nothing eva happened. I dun blame you for not loving me as much as i love you coz i was the one who made the decision to love with eth i had, to love with such naivety, reckon i can only agree with her now tt i'm really at the losin end. I know i shdn't expect you to place me above eth else, and i can't force you either, but it still hurts to noe you wldn't anyway. it's smt i'll juz havta accept i guess. it's difficult, but i'll havta work on my priorities now, deliberate on wad's really impt to me currently. i dunoe if i'm doin e right thing, seems shallow and superficia that i'm choosing to shift my focus away from you now only becoz i've finally accepted that you can't reciprocate my love. i love u, i still do, nothing will eva change that. You taught me a painful lesson tday, but one that i really needed to learn. thank you.

i need to listen carefully, listen to wad my heart really has to say...

2006-02-26T08:58:00.000+08:00

To my lovely fierce dancers!

Thanks for giving me the experience of a lifetime!

For the first time in my life,
i can really say that results are secondary,
and that wad really matters is not the final result
but the bitter-sweet journey we took to get there...
i now know what it's like to look back and smile with pride not regret,
to be able to say that we've clearly given our best and that there's clearly no room for regret.
And i know that e past few months of intensely gruellin training were not for naught,
coz i got you dancers in return!

my sarah.bimbo who's always there to comfort me wen i can't get certain steps rite,thanks for goin thru the rolls with me like dunoe how many zillion times,tracy too!,haha and tt crazy cindy who can't stop speakin chinese weneva she's nervous,you cheena pek! sim yi,i hope i gt your name rite,aka the china acrobat! and jelisa for updatin me on all the j1s gossips..the lovely sonja who wld push us gently on our splits,unlike scary sharon! hahah,and of course e smelly melly we all love to suan! naonao! the gal who eats like nobody's business you greedy pig! Ester with her blank lk,and blur moments! Geraldine the ultimate bimbo! eccentric charmaine with quirky habits like puttin your feet in the floor trap?!?! Audrey whom i learnt how to knit from! n tt big mouth hui qing who talks non-stop! thank you gals for redefining e word dance in my dictionary!

i love you gals!

2006-02-19T02:31:00.000+08:00

to the guy who picked sleep over me twice,thanks
the cake n wiltin roses are only remains of my unappreciated effort

receipe for the first cake i eva made

1.2 hours of desperate search fr gelatin and nestle creme

+ 0.2hours of unhelpful grunts from assistants of 3 diff outlets

+ 0.5hours of walkin under the hot sun with blocks of cheese,a tin of peaches,butter,boxes of digestive biscuits,lemon essense,aluminiun trays,and of course the gelatin and nestle creme

+1.5hours of blendin the biscuits to make the base only to find out 4 hours later i added way too lil butter

+0.3hours of repetitive mixin of base wif loads more butter again

+3.1hours of blendin the cheese wif sugar,gelatin,lemony,and creme

+2.0hours of rapid coolin in the freezer to set the cake so tt i cld surprise you later

= to a guy who chose sleep over me,foilin my pleasant surprise

Happy 18th birthday,and sweetdreams

2006-02-04T16:42:00.000+08:00

Everything's fallin apart,and nothing's goin my way...

i've never felt more insignificant,more unwanted than now,
it juz seems like i'm nt needed anymore.
I stood there by the sideline,watching the whirl of frantic frenzy pass me by,my invisible presence more obscured than eva.
It's a tiring battle trying to fight back the tears that keep threatening to fall,
to put on my plastered smile and breeze through the gals with feigned happiness,
only to find myself crumble in seclusion at the end of it all..
i never knew playin e insignificant role would be this difficult..

2006-02-03T20:22:00.000+08:00

there are so many things i'd like to say to you,
so many things i wish u'd juz hear me say..

i always thot you knew,
knew the special place you held in my heart.
knew that u were not juz some other guy to me,
but the man who've come to mean the world to me.
knew that my best smiles were reserved only for you.
knew that i only felt the happiest weneva you were around.
knew that you were all i eva wanted,n all tt i cld eva ask for..
i guess you wldn't noe then how much i really love you,
that the more i love you,the more afraid i am of losing you..
i fear the day you'd have to leave me,
coz i noe that nothing will eva be the same again without you...

I'm sorry i wasn't aware of your insecurities,
sorry that i never noticed e pain.
i juz wish u'd take me to your secret place,
and reveal your inner thots to me.
i noe everyone needs their moment of solitude,
a fraction of time they can call their own.
it's smt i've come to understand,
that sometimes,a lil time alone is probably the best therapy..
pardon my impatience, my ignorance, my inabilty to see beyond myself..
i was juz hurt you didn't wan to let me in,
that you've chosen to exclude me in your world,
but i'm still waiting,
waiting for that moment u'd open up to me eventually..

i love you my lion,protector,you bo,weak green spoon worm,hairy monster,the king of my heart

2006-02-02T22:40:00.000+08:00

My stars collided on me today..

Everything juz went wrong tday,
or most dreadfully known to many as the bad day..

My bra strap juz snapped! like wth?!
and i alr told you tt i really wanted to tie my hair,
it's so friggin hot,besides, ive always been against gals who refused to tie their hair in school wen it's obviously dry alr,no offence,but ya,maybe i'm juz jealous of their long hair.but i've also alr explained to you tt mine's seriously outta shape,i juz had to tie it! lest i also wan mrs loh buggin at me! you dun get it
i thot things cldn't hav been worse,but it took an ugly awful turn wen i lost my beat tday.maybe she juz decided to abandon me tday
My timing was all over the place
i fumbled,
n he screamed
n it seemed tt e more he screamed e more i fumbled,
it was juz so diff tryin to gather my nerves back tgh and step in line wif the next routine noein tt in the last moment he juz friggin screamed his lungs out at me,and pretend tt i've escaped from his merciless scrutiny,and shove some annoyin broodin notion tt he's juz waitin fr me to commit my next mistake so he can scream some more aside n juz dance properly.
i juz lost it tday,i swear i almost cried in fornt of him tday if nt fr my stubborn pride and wad lil dignity i had left to hold it all in..
i walked out of dance tday with
blisters covered feet,
achin body,
battered soul,
a cut in my wounded self

and you juz dun get it

2006-01-21T20:17:00.000+08:00

I didn't believe in angels,till i met you..

A solitary walk-
with only the steadiness of my breath
keepin in beat with me,
the passing breeze that blows my way;
lifting my hair in lingering moments
as she bids farewell,
reminding me tt i'm not alone,
even in this solitary walk.

but then you came,
into my little world,
held my hands and walked with me.
i felt your warmth
like the loving touch of the sun.
I breathed your scent
like the husky summer breeze.
It felt so right to have you beside me,
to know that i have you to break my fall,
and to pick me up wen i've fallen.
i knew i wasn't alone in this solitary walk anymore
e day u walked into my life...

thank you

You bo

2006-01-21T18:38:00.000+08:00

ooo..u're nt like the rest,
u're my sweet, loving, funny,
adorable protector,
tt's why i love you!
i'm ready! really!

hahah!

2006-01-02T21:08:00.000+08:00

ooo..
om chong po go shi por!

2005-12-27T15:01:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, i wonder if the queen upon her throne have bestowed her time too graciously and kindly on her subjects, and those who have come forth to receive her favours.
She doesn't need no words of advice from the advocates of the wise, or flattery from the suitors of fame.coz more often than not, it is not wad you hear that matters the most, but wad you feel, wad the heart truly desires...
Can't you see that she's not happy?
i guess the king will never know that beneath it all,his queen may not necessarily be the happiest or most fortunate woman of all as he'd thought...

2005-11-24T05:43:00.000+08:00

fleeting moments,
Wary glances,
Plastered smiles,
Shallow breaths,
palpitating heartbeats,

It doesn't feel that long ago wen i'd steal glimpses of you,
and find my eyes strayin to your profile..
It doesn't seem that long ago wen u cld take my breath away,
and make my heart skip a beat just by glancin my way..
and you still do, i still find my heart racing weneva i'm near you.

barely hangin on

2005-11-17T14:50:00.000+08:00

you get on my nerves so badly sometimes, i juz wanna scream!
and as if tt's nt bad enuff, you step on my toes too?!?
you push me over the edge, put my patience to the test!
and it really doesn't help that you simply tick me off, piss me off, make my blood boil,
the best part is, while i sit here fuming, frowning, crossed as i can possibly be,
you probably haven't a single clue abt it, nt a teeny weeny one bit!
So i'll juz put my smile back on once again!
and pretend that every single emotion
that juz flashed me by neva happened.
i doubt it's working,
coz i'm still pissed!

your obscurity befuddles me

2005-11-16T10:18:00.000+08:00

ya,so i decided to heed ur advice and do smt productive!
i think you seriously suck! i neva get wad's on ur mind?! i neva do?! like wad're you thinking most of the time?! it frustrates me coz somehow,i dun think i'll eva noe...

I often wonder abt wad's beneath that disssemble of yours, often wonder abt how you can be so unfathomable and enigmatic sometimes. you enthral me, enchant me, captivate me and hold me spellbound under your spectacular masquerade. When will i eva be able to see you unadorned,and free from all these embellishments, concealments? i wanna see you in your unbriddled form,with nth to hide,nth to disguise,nth you're too afraid to show.

Sometimes,a crack beneath that perfect facade reveals your saturnine,your skeptical disposition,your disdain with life. It scares me to see this scornful side of you, but it hurts me even more to know that you see your world bereft of hope, devoid of light, that naught but only dark, gloomy thoughts shroud ur mind, casting bleakness over your skies.

It's moments like this, i hope you'll always remember that you can turn to me. pls do not shun me, but let me show you life's hope, give warmth to touch your hardened cords, and bring sunshine back into your darkness.
you noe that i love you

it's been a while

2005-11-05T05:39:00.000+08:00

I've almost forgotten what it felt like to be able to juz write,
to let my words spin a tale of its own,
and dance to a rythm of its own.
i've forgotten how it felt like to write without
convictions,and clearly with no objectives,
to cast inhibitions to the winds and
to lose myself in a whirl of words.
i've forgotten how words had
a magical compelling way of tellin a story,
my story.

I wish i were wiser,
blessed with the learned minds
of the wordly.
Then,maybe,my story would have turned out differently,
and words would have a different story to tell.
I wish i could have seen the way things would have turned out,
then maybe,
if i could turn back the hands of time,
things would have turned out differently,
and not the way it is today.
Is this self-pity i sense?
To wallow in this vicious trap,
to dwell on stagnant grief, i fear.
I want to move on,
but the nightmares that lurk in the depths
of my sub-conscious mind continues to haunt me.
Sometimes,i feel like as if i could move on
but looking at you only refreshes the pain,
the memories that i'm tryin so hard to conceal.
I wish i could have done something,
but all these words only evince the real coward i am.

2005-07-10T02:01:00.000+08:00

The Heart has reasons that reason cannot know...

letter to liting

2005-07-07T16:04:00.000+08:00

dear liting,

today was such an interesting day. melvin didnt come to school. and we thought weewee didn't come either but in the end she did! junming refused to eat. maybe he's anorexic. and i'm so so sleepy.
but the most interesting thing of all.
was that you got beaten up! you've even got a bleeding nose and a swollen lip to prove it. oh man. i was so scared and freaked out when you said 'blood!'. but even after you went to the toilet, me and weewee took a long time to register to go after you. oops. we're slow. cos weewee was distracted about someone else. ahem.
anyway.
it was so scary. then there was blood on your shirt and everything! and we stood infront of the hand dryer for a long long time.
and i had to steal the 'cleaning in progress' sign so people wouldn't come in and see the total mess. bloody tissues all over. ew.
hope you're feeling okay now.
what an experience.

love, sarah.

For everything there is a season, for every season a plan...

2005-07-05T12:51:00.000+08:00

Hav u eva wondered if things genuinely happened fr a reason? A reason so profound and obscured it requires patience as we wait for time to tell us a different story in a different light;a different perspective...If everything happens for a reason, what is that greater reason that we are all living for? Standing at the crossroads, was there a reason why i chose to turn right? was it the right path to choose so that i cld walk right into revelation and finally nirvana? Could everything be happenin for a reason so tt i cld finally arrive at my destination, my fate? So as i sit here contemplating fate, do i really take the back seat of my life, and let fate map out the day's route? my life's destiny? How much of life is really controlled by fate, that greater divine providence? i'm a fervent believer of fate, serendipty,but doesn't that also make me a faineant believer of whimiscal beliefs, lackin convictions in the evanescence and volatility of fate...

randomness

2005-06-26T10:31:00.000+08:00

ok
i haven much time left!
so screwed!
haha! oh! splendorous has juz been added to my list of fav words, along side wif quaint,serendipty,blah blah! it juz dawned on me how cute a word it is, yet you dun hear ppl spoutin if often enuff! so hear me go splendorous!
hahah! well,i'm bloggin to appease my lullaby who apparently has nothin to read lately.
sorry that i can't tell u whether carbon dioxide is polar or nonpolar coz i obviously haven studied,
and its killin me to noe tt i do nt really care tt i'm most probably goin to fail..gees,somebody save me..well,ive been thinkin abt some stuff lately,i think liying and i hav matured a lot...we're no longer screamin at each other,and arguin over petty stuff like''it's all ur fault tt we can't study tday!coz you fell aslp and refuse to wake up!" and we'll act hav such disputes everytime the exams are ard the corner,so much so tt we spend more time fightin,and pissin each other off than studyin really. I guess we both noe it's genuinely a waste of time instead...reckon tears and disagreements are clearly an episode of the past,coz now wen we sit tgh to mug,its laughter i hear ringin' and our cheery voices singin along to the hits while we attempt to study tgh...hahahaha..oh! and baby, thanks so much fr attemptin to keep me awake last nite, haha,u're definitely appreciated and cherished by me always!! =)

foreign

2005-06-12T14:36:00.000+08:00

wow
time really flies huh, cliche, hackneyed, but how true...lets recap on the most significant events tt hav taken place in the past god noes how many days,wks. hmm..had dance camp.
It was crazy! fancy playin games at like 11plus in the night, we were covered in flour,chilli,blah,colgate!! at the end of it all...indian dance is fun! totally reminded me of the kc dance we learnt, we shd do an indian fusion someday! like seriously! gees, we share the same instructor as tjc as well! so wadeva we learn, tj learns them too,how interesting huh..
Had a temasek site visit to the explosive and defence thingy at selatar camp.chachat place,was expectin some high tect laboratory shit,but oh well, maybe they forsee e place blowin up anyway,so why bother refurbishing..
went out wif minimoni,baby see,and sarah.b tday! had a wacky time tgh
took pics like crazy,i miss them really
hahha, a day to commemorate and celebrate huh!

l

2005-05-25T11:58:00.000+08:00

tired n bummed out..i seek fr nth more but ur comforting touch, n tt silent presense of urs tt offers me more than worthless mutters of emptry promises. I've been lkin fr answers in all the wrong places, so bent i am on makin' things happen, i hav forsaken the lil things that hav passed me by, missed opportunites of hope, and chance..teach me e true meanin of serendipity, show me fate in its glorious makin'...

three wishes seem too little

2005-05-09T13:58:00.000+08:00

If i were granted three wishes, i wld wish for the following
1. cockroaches to be wiped out from the surface of this planet.
2. ppl wif B.O juz steer clear of me
3. Smokers shd lock themselves up in this non-ventilated capsule and suffocate themselve to death doubly fast being the smoker n passive smoker.

Was debating btwn calorie free chocolate and the smoker thingy,but decided to wish fr the benefit of the entire community instead,how noble of me. then again, i wld be savin a lot of ppl from heart diseases,obesity induced illnesses if calorie free choc existed, but nt me from my choc headaches ..dilemma..hahahah! gees i think i sound stoopid

eeyer

2005-05-09T13:31:00.000+08:00

I HATE SCHOOL!

dee doo

2005-05-04T13:39:00.000+08:00

Somebody set my compass workin again,coz i'm
too disoriented,and lost in this tangled up mess of failure and unsuccessful attempts to change.
Not gonna lament further...it's useless anyway

2005-05-03T12:54:00.000+08:00

hello i am liting!
today i have a flower in my hair. but i think i should get a new rubberband cos my flower attracts too much attention. my flower is purple. i feel sad cos i forgot to bring my gp essay. but it's okay because i have a friend called sarah who makes me happy! (vote #40!!) today is tuesday. waffle day! waffles are happy drugs.
sarah is looking happy today. happy happy happy.

Salvation

2005-04-30T15:03:00.000+08:00

Wen the sediments hav settled, and the muddled water cleared,
i hope tt i'll be able to find you again.
Waiting for the day where you'll find me again ,and hoping you'll bring me back into your embrace is futile, lest i seek for you with an open heart.

It's written in the stars

2005-04-29T15:32:00.000+08:00

i find myself indescribably at morbid peace wif myself
amongst these rampant chaos of turbulent thoughts.
A distant memory long forgotten;
buried deep beneath these sediments tt hav gathered over time.
A lost emotion cast aside, impalpable,n intangible to the
incompetent heart.
Incapable,and unseemly in touched wif my inner voice.
can i really trust my feelings after all?

Are tears necessarily a sign of weakness?

2005-04-12T12:34:00.000+08:00

Today was not exactly the best day;
A combination of a bad case of pms,
oppressive emotions tt seem to
burden my already battered soul,and
several other reasons tt i dun wanna mention
seem to hav gotten the better of me.
I guess tears are naturally a sign of weakness,
and you juz can't stop them from falling,
even if it spells failure.
Maybe, we need to be reminded and
humbled occasionally to remember our
vulnerabilities,and flaws.Maybe, he wanted to
let us noe tt in our darkest nights,bitter sorrow,
bleakest hope n when the heart simply
has too much to bear,he'll be there to
lighten the mind,dry the tears,alleviate the soul.
When one's heart is overwhelmed wif grief,
some will overflow through the eyes...
i guess the tears are here to let me noe
that i can always turn to you...

exasperated

2005-04-07T13:19:00.000+08:00

Today i made an awfully embarrassing,but nonetheless fortunate discovery-
Yue han is not derrick! and so is derrick not yue han!
*screams*

waffles

2005-04-06T10:33:00.000+08:00

i think the way to stop wars
and have world peace is to
make everyone eat waffles.
nothing can go wrong
when you eat waffles.
waffles make me happy.

Sarah.B(my amnesia sufferin bimbo galfren)

Discern me

2005-04-01T10:06:00.000+08:00

Silent solitude resides in the bottomless pit of my heart.
Immense sorrow, a resident of my empty vessel.
My soul yearns to be touched again,
to be able to feel my senses
reignite the joys in me...

Syndromes

2005-03-27T03:47:00.000+08:00

There is a burning pain throbbing
away on the left side of my head.
Its eating away my sanity wif each
passing second, and it seems like
no amt of therapy is going to relieve
this agony at my temple. Sigh..
I've been sleepin late and waking
up relatively early now, maybe it's
juz a syndrome of inadequate rest.
Usually i'll go back to sleep, but i haven
been able to revisit my familiar haven
of utopia as often as i wld like to lately.
Often find myself in a dizzy stupor
before my body can clock up my usual twelve hrs.
I guess waking up at 6 for sch has jeopardized
the sleepin routine i hav painstakingly crafted
during the pathetic one wk hols;
Short-lived, but blissfully-lived.
I think blabbing nonsensical, intelligible trifles
is another syndrome of insufficient rest.

exgfsflhlism

2005-03-21T16:17:00.000+08:00

We'll be ponning;
So see us running!
It'll be stunning!
to see the teacher fuming!
Away from lectures!
Free from teachers!
Spared from tortures
and all the vultures!

Hahahaha, we're seriously bored

The Principal's Advocate

2005-03-21T15:43:00.000+08:00

I seriously dread going to school,
It's a place only for the fools.
So why dun we add some fun,
and throw out all the pun.
Subtract the maths equations;
Multiply the sensations.
Why wldn't he stop to notice me?
Day and night i wait by the tree.
So i'll wait till the sun sets in the sea,
Coz he's the only one i'll eva see.
You can give me the rest for free,
but they'll never be as good as he.

proudly presented to you by Sarah.B, MSEC, Lion
hahahahaha,we were bored...

Clarestar, clarestaR

2005-03-19T05:04:00.000+08:00

Clarestar, clarestar, my divine lttle star;
Oh, how you blow me away with your dazzlin little smile.
Clarestar, clarestar, wad a gorgeous being;
you give my monotonous life new meaning.
Clarestar, clarestar, will you please say you're mine;
cos you're constantly on my mind
Clarestar, clarestar, can't you see ?
you're everything i'll eva need.

i give credits to my divine lil star, for she's the essence of this corny inspiration.

I dun wanna be here

2005-03-19T04:47:00.000+08:00

I hear the music blastin'.
I hear my heart yellin'.
I hear my brain screamin'.
I hear my ears cryin' out to me coz
all these bickerin' is killin' me.

I caught the sunrise yesterday,the rawest form of nature at its quintessential.
Do i hear the birds sing their lovely duets with such admirable brio?
The sky flaunt his enigma exotic blue? and the tropical heaven bask in her lush,rich green? If the sunrise was suppose to touch my hardened chords, it didn't.

Cradle of Life

2005-03-17T10:20:00.000+08:00

Discoveries awaits me every morning,
Revalations when night falls.
Sacred it is, the cradle of life,
that every mortal soul will find his divine truth solely
in the journey of love, hate, happiness, and sorrow.
My forlorn heart yearns for something more compelling
than what my daily perfunctory duties have to offer.
My weary mind speaks of the wonders my senses have to give.
Please, fill my thirsty soul with the elixir of life,
and as i drink up surrealism, pray let it quench this insatiable desire,
for i wish to seek no longer...

Lost

2005-03-17T10:10:00.000+08:00

So i'm hopelessly lost.Aimless and directionless.
I can feel the pent-up frustration in me, it's leaving
me speechless with enigmatic confusion.I'm not fine,
i need a reason;an answer to my life.i don't wanna idle
like a faintane for life's mystery to slowly unravel
before my very eyes. i'm seeking.desperately searching.
help me find my reason, my sole purpose,my divne being.
If it's a desire created by you,why can't you satisfy it?
and bring me salvation.Are you calling out to me?
or am i calling out to you now?maybe a calvacade of
coincidental events will tell me?will you just show me a sign?
The world and time can pass me by,and i can feign nonchalance,
but will tt make me any happier?i'm not happy,i'm not fine.
i think i'm calling out to you?do you hear me?

If love is blind,then infatutaion must have robbed me of my sanity

2005-03-14T16:45:00.000+08:00

I thought that we connect,
that the chemistry's correct.

But i guess all that changed,
when you left me disarranged.

So just get outta my sight,
cause the feelings no longer right.

And prepare me a concoction,
as i thirst for salvation.

I'm walking away from misery,
while you're heading for disastery.

The day will come where i'll depart with grace,
and forget your fugly face.

I swear i'm not copping out,
i've simply woken up.

Saturday afternoon

2005-03-13T07:18:00.000+08:00

Simple gestures of love
can manifest in many profound ways.
Ordinary smiles of bliss
can warm the hearts in unfathomable means.
Genuine words of concern
can touch souls and bring deliverance.
Heartfelt tributes of gratitude
to thank the people who have taught me all of the above.

Hurt

2005-03-12T13:00:00.000+08:00

I should have anticipated this,
Should have seen it coming.
But i was foolish enough to ignore
the signs; the warnings.
Never again will i give so readily;
Never again will i trust so wilingly;
Never again will i love so blindly.

The Rain

2005-03-12T08:05:00.000+08:00

Shrouding clouds;
Rustling leaves;
Swaying branches;
Howling wind;
The Rhythmic rain.
A lovely symphony of nature's majestic orchestra.
Serenade me with your melodious tune, for i wish to seek solace.

Will the rain drown me of my misery, and ease this burning agony;
Cleanse me of my emotions and hurtful memories.
Will the rain shower me with serenity, and calm my turbulent feelings;
Immerse me in tranquilty and peaceful harmony.
Will the rain just breathe me life, and bring an end to my forlorn history.
Revitalise my soul; Heal my wounds; Mend my heart.

chocolate hangover

2005-03-11T15:06:00.000+08:00

My head feels unbelievably heavy, i'm exhausting practically every ounce of possibly aerobically respired energy juz to keep my head upright.

My neck, i swear is straining; i fear i may soon incur severe injury to my already brutally abused body from excessive exertion.

My limbs, they seem foreign, unable to comprehend the language my brain converses in.

Bad chocolate headache

2005-03-10T12:40:00.000+08:00

apprehension
anxiety
confusion
insecurity
deliberation
excitement
intensity

amazement
breathless
mortification
consternation
astonishment
speechless
stun

infuriation
wrathful
irritation
anguish
furious
agitation
frustration
angst

numbed
cynical
jaded
wearied
exhausted
empty

self declared misantrohpe and emotional wreckage

Perpetually late

2005-03-09T12:59:00.000+08:00

So, i was late for school again, so much for punctuality being prioritized first in my resolutions' list! Mrs logan was commenting that she misses me at every morning assembly now, coz i'm perpetually tardy and that my presense would be greatly appreciated in the future.
I fear procrastination is slowly climbing up the charts as well, if not, rather rapidly in fact.Pray i'll wake up early tmr morn to write my essays and tutorials coz i'm turning in for an early night, but something's telling me i'll wake up late and end up late for school again...hopelessly stuck in my self-induced malicious cycle. goodnight.sweetdreams.fergie.rite.

Lady of the night

2005-03-08T15:05:00.000+08:00

As the night sings her soothing lullaby,
a hypnotic tune that entices me into her warm embrace.
Redemption awaits me in my deep slumber;
reprieve in my dreams.
In my sleep, impervious to the harsh reality.
In my dreams, untouched by the cold truth.

Surrealism in reality

2005-03-08T14:36:00.000+08:00

Well, i've always thought it weird to reveal my life's perilous journey of lessons learnt from pain, hurt and falls a little too explicit for my liking , but, oh hell, i'm still typing as we speak , guess this doesn't feel as bad as i expected it to be . and i think i'm suffering from writer's block at my very first attempt at blogging!! This is bad...